Dear Prudence: Who's Your Mommy?

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Dear Prudence Who's Your Mommy? Dear Prudence advises a man whose wife doesn't want their twins to know they came from donor eggs—during a live chat at Washingtonpost.com. By Emily Yoffe Posted Monday, Oct 17, 2011, at 07:49 PM ET Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on Washingtonpost.com weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of this week's chat is below. (Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Read Prudie's Slate columns here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.) Emily Yoffe: Good afternoon. I look forward to your questions. Q. The need to know: We've been happily married for over 20 years, and we are blessed with two wonderful children (twins). But, there's a deep family secret: Everybody knows we used in vitro fertilization, but only my wife and I know the children came from donor eggs. The donor was of my wife's general ethnicity, skin and hair color, etc., so the children's looks are a near-perfect blend of hers and mine, and nobody suspects. The issue is whether or not the children ever know their origin, and if so, when? My point of view is that there are important medical issues potentially at stake, and they should eventually be told. Anyway, they will find out immediately if either one ever has a DNA scan—the results will come back with the "wrong" country of origin, and better they hear the news from us instead of from some lab. My wife's point of view is that telling the children that fact would be like taking her children away from her. I agree that it's much more important to her than to ... To continue reading, click here. Join the Fray: our reader discussion forum What did you think of this article? POST A MESSAGE | READ MESSAGES Also In Slate Lithwick: How To Avoid Getting Arrested at Your Local Occupy Wall Street Protest Why Roz Chast Hates Superheroes. And Elevators. And Carnivals. And ... Who Cares if Running Backs Don't Do Much Running?	Advertisement
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