Cheat Sheet - The Clinton Speech That Never Was

Today: Shonda Rhimes: How Adoption Changed Me , Boston Carjack Victim Shares His Story , Hitler's Food Taster Tells All April 26, 2013 THIS GUY! 1. The Funniest Speech Clinton Never Gave Two weeks after Boston, Barack Obama will have to walk a line between heartfelt and funny at this weekend's White House Correspondents' Dinner. For Clinton speechwriter Mark Katz, that's an eerily familiar challenge. Read it at The Daily Beast Learning To Surrender 2. Shonda Rhimes: How Adoption Changed Me The creator of 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Private Practice' on how adopting two babies taught her to let go and just love. Read it at The Daily Beast HARROWING EXPERIENCE 3. Boston Carjack Victim Shares His Story Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's carjacking victim shared the details of his frightening night with The Boston Globe. Danny, a 26-year-old Chinese entrepreneur who would be identified only by his American nickname, recalls being approached by a man in dark clothes last Thursday night—who bragged that he'd bombed the Boston Marathon and just killed a police officer. Danny recounts driving the two suspects around 90 minutes, talking about everything from girls and whether people still listen to CDs to whether they could take the car to New York, before he was finally able to make his escape during a moment of weakness when they stopped at a Shell station. "I don't want to be a famous person talking on TV," Danny told the Globe. "I don't feel like a hero ... I was just trying to save myself." Read it at The Boston Globe THE WOLF'S LAIR 4. Hitler's Food Taster Tells All Every meal could have been her last. Adolf Hitler's last surviving food taster, Margot Woelk, spent two and a half years as one of 15 young women who sampled the führer's gourmet vegetarian dishes to make sure they weren't poisoned. She kept her role a secret until recently, a few months after her 95th birthday, when she decided to publish her dispatches from the Wolf's Lair—a heavily guarded command center where Hitler spent much of his time. Although the food was delicious ("only the best vegetables"), Woelk lived in fear long after her harrowing wartime role ended. "For decades I tried to shake off those memories," she said. "But they always came back to haunt me at night." Read it at CBS 'NOT GOING ANYWHERE' 5. Obama Addresses Planned Parenthood In a passionate speech delivered to Planned Parenthood on Friday, President Obama assured the women's group that—despite Republican efforts to strike it down—the organization is "not going anywhere." Becoming the first sitting U.S. president to address the organization, the president told the estimated 1,000 gathered that he plans to fight GOP-led efforts to restrict access to abortion and contraceptives. "When it comes to a woman's health, no politician should get to decide what's right for you," he said. "As long as we've got a fight to make sure women have access to affordable, quality health care ... I want you to know that you've also got a president who's going to be right there, fighting every step of the way." Read it at Talking Points Memo PREEMPTIVE Report: Ambassador Pick Tied to Gambling Ring Dropped out before FBI could probe his past. CONSPIRACY THEORY Bombing Suspects' Parents Blame the U.S. Claim their sons were set up. 'so f---ing AWKWARD' Profane Sorority Email Writer Resigns After harsh email goes viral. THE KING IS GONE Country Star George Jones Dies He was 81. WORLD'S CUTEST KITTY 'Lil Bub' Wins at Tribeca Film Fest Story of Internet cat sensation gets Best Feature Film. GET The Cheat Sheet A speedy, smart summary of news and must-reads from across the Web. You'll love the featured original stories on politics, entertainment, and more from The Daily Beast's diverse group of contributors. GET Culture Beast Weekly cultural recommendations from The Daily Beast. Conan's Best Political Jokes Hey Mitt Romney, is your hair 'chiseled out of imported African mahogany?' With Conan O'Brien hosting this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner, The Daily Beast browsed his late-night archives to see what material he might use. More Videos Breaking: News Ain't Cheap by Daniel Gross Did the Terror List Fail? by Daniel Klaidman Those Backstabbing Bitches by Peggy Drexler

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