Career News 24/7: The Cynical Girl: 2012 Predictions

Friday, December 30, 2011

The Cynical Girl: 2012 Predictions

2012 Predictions

Posted: 29 Dec 2011 03:45 AM PST

I’ve been asked to write my ’2012 predictions’ on other blogs and I said yes because I don’t want to crap up my blog with HR garbage.

Instead, I thought I would look at last year’s predictions and see how I did.

You won’t get a big raise. CORRECT. The average pay increase in 2011 was 3%. That one was easy.
Your company will hire some people. CORRECT. We’re slowly adding jobs back to the economy. Shut up, I know, I said slowly.
Your boss will leave. INCORRECT. He’s still there. Hanging on to that job with his cold, dead hands.
Office gossip will return to boring topics. CORRECT. We’re back to talking about the Kardashians. This will change in 2012 with the upcoming election.
The anxiety-ridden guy in your office will finally go to the EAP. INCORRECT. That guy still doesn’t have his shit together. It’s awful.
Your title will change. INCORRECT. Your company is so stingy that it doesn’t even give out title-only promotions. Jerks.
That chick in your office who tries to "out dude" the guys will calm the heck down. THIS ONE’S A WASH. This chick is less aggressive but she is still a bitch.

My advice from last year is also pretty good. I wrote — Nothing gets better if you can't see past your own personal ennui and dissatisfaction in life. If your job eats away at your soul, 2011 is the year to figure out how to change it. What keeps us in jobs we hate? Debt and health insurance. Can you cut back on your expenses? Can you work somewhere better for less money? File bankruptcy? Can you get your health in order so you don't need as many prescription drugs?

It’s true. Spend less. Stack cheddar. Make your own future.

I wish you peace in 2012.

And I predict Obama will win.