Career News 24/7: The Cynical Girl: F@%k It Friday: Jon Stewart

Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Cynical Girl: F@%k It Friday: Jon Stewart

Posted: 12 Jul 2013 03:45 AM PDT

jonstewart I once wrote Jon Stewart a fan letter.

Correction: I faxed him a fan letter. And it wasn’t one letter. It was two.

Here we go.

Back in 1994, I was a a nineteen-year-old sophomore in college. I lived in St. Louis with my boyfriend and cat. We were normal. I went to school. I had a part-time job. We watched The Jon Stewart Show every night before going to bed.

(Yes, he had a show before The Daily Show. It was hilarious).

Even though he’s 12 years older than me, I always felt like Jon Stewart was the voice of my generation. He was so much better than Jay Leno. So much funnier than Arsenio Hall. That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to write a letter and tell Jon Stewart that I was a fan. Except I’m not dumb. He would never get my letter . . . . just like Michael Jackson never got the invitation to my birthday party.

That’s why I tried to be crafty.

We had AOL dial-up at my house. The Jon Stewart Show didn’t really have a web page, but I did manage to find the name of his production company. So I spent 99¢ and called 411 (hyperlinked for you kids out there) to see what I could find. Then I paid another 99¢ to automatically patch me through to the production company’s main office.

Some older woman answered the phone. I blurted out, “I want to fax a letter to The Jon Stewart Show. What’s your fax number?”

The woman asked, “What? Our fax number? What kind of letter?”

I said, “I’m writing a letter of complaint.”

Just like that, I got the fax number. The rest was easy. I went into an early version of WordPerfect and typed out what is probably a total fucking psycho letter of admiration and love. I was trying to be restrained but passionate.

And since I worked in the Religious Studies department at my college, I used our fax machine to send the letter.

Suckers. I could not be stopped.

A few nights later, Jon Stewart made a joke about St. Louis on his show. Now listen, who the hell wouldn’t joke about it? It’s one of the armpits of America — right behind Indianapolis, Louisville and most of Ohio. But I took his joke as a sign because I was nuts.

I then sent another fax.

Hey Jon Stewart, you don’t gotta just joke about St. Louis. You could totally call me. If you met me in a bar, you would like me. Even though I’m not old enough to be in that bar, we would be friends. Why can’t we be friends based on a fan letter?

Sigh. I was absolutely out of my mind. One person’s persistent fan is another person’s stalker. (I am sorry, Jon Stewart. I totally deserve the label.)

Fan letters are part of a long tradition of admiration and affection. They can be cute and harmless. They can also be nutty. I can’t be the only one who took a fan letter to a new level. I know some of you HR ladies were hoochies in the 80s.

Ever sit outside and stalk Mötley Crüe? Ever try to hook up with the guys from RATT and take it a little too far?

Make me feel better about my poor choices in the 90s.

The Best Conference Booths Have Animals

Posted: 11 Jul 2013 03:45 AM PDT

I have been to a lot of conferences.

I don’t just attend events for HR dorks. I try to find out what’s happening in other communities. I seek out marketing nerds. Design dweebs. Crazy mommybloggers. Animal lovers. Civil servants. Coding geeks.

I once poked my head into a life sciences conference in San Diego just because I was bored at my own show.

(They have hashtags and wild parties, too.)

All of these conferences have expo halls and booths where I’ve seen everyone from Erik Estrada to Stedman Graham to Richard Blais. (Don’t be too impressed.) And the only thing I know about conferences is that the best booths have animals.

This is a no-brainer at events like BlogHer or BlogPaws. Easy. But it’s harder at an event like SHRM.

So about ten weeks ago, I sent an email to my old employer — a marketing firm — and said WHATEVER YOU DO YOU HAVE TO GET LIL BUB TO SHRM.

If you don’t know Lil Bub, she is a girl. (Get that in your head, okay?) And she is very cute. Bub is also a special needs kitty, which makes her chill and friendly in a chaotic environment. The weird thing about Bub is that normal people with boring jobs will wrap themselves around a city block to meet her. She is the most amazing cat ever.

And this is my friend Stephanie who runs a successful blog called Catsparella. Trust me, you and your shitty HR blog wish you had her traffic. And even she was wowed by Miss Bubz!

Lil Bub would be a huge hit at a Human Resources conference. People would love to meet her. The pictures could be shared via social media in the best way. Flickr? Vine? Instagram Video? It doesn’t even matter. The attendees would do the work themselves.

And then I got on my virtual-hands-and-knees and begged my former colleagues to find a way to get Lil Bub from Indiana (where she lives) to Chicago. Isn’t there some vendor who is sick of giving away shitty swag and wants to give away an experience with Bub?!

But my idea was too late. There wasn’t enough time to be nimble.

Meanwhile, VPI Pet Insurance had a line wrapped around the conference floor on a Tuesday afternoon so people could touch therapy dogs.

Unbelievable. It turns out that sad HR ladies (like me) missed our animals so much. We wanted some love from neutered dogs (instead of the male wildebeests from the HR tech community who came out to see DJ Jazzy Jeff).

So let that be a lesson to all Human Resources vendors: