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Thursday, October 17, 2013

Cheat Sheet - Inside the GOP Surrender

Today: Federal Employees Head to Work , Speed Read: 13 Juiciest Bits From Morrissey's 'Autobiography' , NSA Chief to Step Down
Cheat Sheet: Morning

October 17, 2013
It's Over

The Republican strategy of obstruction collapsed in a late Wednesday night deal that averted default and re-opened the government. Ben Jacobs reports on the tumultuous ending—which included a House stenographer getting hauled away from the vote for screaming about freemasons.

WHEW

Now all the furlough jokes can end! Government employees forced to stay home from work during the government shutdown have been instructed to show up to work on Thursday after the President signed the bill funding the government. Federal employees should head to the Office of Personnel Management website for additional updates. Now people can finally stop harassing Park Service employees.

Speed Read

Score settling, women bashing, Smiths hating, and finally a reveal about his mysterious love life—Nico Hines digs into Morrissey's new 'Autobiography' for the most scandalous tidbits.

SMELL YA LATER

Send an email with your best wishes – he'll find it. Army General Keith Alexander will step down after eight years on top of the NSA reports Reuters. Alexander and his tenure atop the spy agency have come under fire recently after revelations from the Edward Snowden leaks detailed the extent of the NSA's snooping into emails, social media and phone records. While the change is seen as giving President Obama an opportunity to reform the secretive agency, the NSA says Alexander is not leaving because of the revelations in the leaks.

beginning of the end

As it appears the weeks of stalemate are coming to a close, President Obama briefly addressed the press room on Wednesday night, lauding the Senate-approved bill which would end the shutdown and raise the debt ceiling but which is still waiting for a House vote. He pledged to sign the agreement and re-open the government "immediately" after the compromise passes, saying he's "convinced Democrats and Republicans can work together to make progress for America." Congress has "got to get out of the habit of governing by crisis," Obama said before leaving the podium. "Isn't this going to happen again in a few months?" a reporter called after him. "No!" he shouted back. The president will address the nation again at 10:35 a.m. on Thursday.


ROLL IN GRAVE
Brazil to Exhume Former Presidents
To investigate assassination claims.
HORROR
Millions Still Slaves Worldwide
According to new report.
CREEPY
Facebook Relaxes Teen Privacy Rules
To cash in on advertising.
QUEEN MADGE
Madonna Banned From Cinema
For texting during a film.
OOH GURL
Gwyneth Paltrow Feud Heats Up
With Vanity Fair
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