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 | Lindsey Novak Q: I have a daughter who is autistic and reaching adulthood. I took her to file for disability at our local Social Security office. Two weeks later, the examiner called me at home. She left a detailed message and said my "son" had to do a "psychological" or the case would be denied. I called and left her a message saying that my so-called "son" is a woman and that whoever read the file obviously didn't read it closely enough. I later scheduled the "psychological" and took my daughter to the office for it. It was extremely hot and a very long afternoon, and my daughter had to go into the test alone while I waited outside.
Weeks later, the examiner called and left a nasty message, again on my home phone: "I don't appreciate being hung up on!" I know what must have happened. My daughter is afraid to talk to people on the phone unless she knows them well. I nearly always answer the phone and am with my daughter, but she must have answered the phone, heard the woman's voice, become afraid and hung up. That is autism. Of course, this examiner never answers her phone, but she thinks others are rude to her if they can't hold a conversation with her. I called the examiner and left a message, again explaining that my daughter, not my son, has autism and is afraid to talk to strangers, even on the phone. I apologized for my daughter's hanging up on her. I explained that my daughter did not intend to be rude, that she is disabled and that is what autism is. I said I try to be with her all the time but can't if I have to go to the bathroom. I also apologized in advance in case my daughter answers the phone and hangs up on her in the future.
This examiner is making decisions on the disabled, but she doesn't even know about the disabilities. Does she have a clue? Our taxes are paying her salary, and this is what the disabled and the parents of the disabled have to tolerate in employees at government agencies.
A: You must be a very strong and loving person to make such a commitment to a disabled child. As heartbreaking as this is, many people, strangers and parents alike, think the mentally disabled are throwaway people.
This examiner has no excuse for such insensitive and stupid -- yes, stupid -- behavior. You are right in wondering whether this person has a clue. Clearly, she does not. A normal person would have assumed the disabled person may have answered the phone -- or at least thought she had been disconnected. Any person who works to determine whether an applicant qualifies as disabled should be aware of the many types of disabilities and behaviors involved. And she should absolutely be aware before she calls the home of a disabled person, not to mention she should have read the file carefully enough to know the person's gender.
It's a disgrace to the agency and to society that this woman has this type of job; you can be sure you are not the only victim of her insensitivity and incompetence. Unfortunately, government employees do not seem to be held to the same performance standards as those in the private sector.
The last thing you probably have energy for is to file a formal complaint with the agency, but if you do (after you receive the agency's determination for your daughter), list the dates and the conversations and events that took place. This employee will not be fired or even transferred to another position in which she no longer will deal with the public, but perhaps your letter on file will prompt a reprimand and keep her from repeating her far-below-average behavior.
Are you tired of fighting an uphill battle at work? Email Lindsey Novak at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com with all your workplace questions. She answers all emails. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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