Career News 24/7: The Cynical Girl: The Conference Economy

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Cynical Girl: The Conference Economy

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 06:02 PM PDT

I was going to write a post about how HR conference are killing me.

Killing me.

But who cares? And really, it’s not like I work in a copper mine. (I’m such a drama queen.) But sometimes these events are so lame and exhausting. When I started to write this post, the only thing that came to mind were the lyrics to All Apologies.

I’m not saying that this is poet laureate stuff, people.

I just feel like I’m choking on the ashes of my enemy every time I meet an analyst or vendor who want to talk about the future of strategic human capital management.

What is that?
I mean, really.
Come. On.

All in all is all we are.

Who are the HR conference attendees? There are a couple of different groups. Many are well-intentioned individuals who want to teach, learn, and grow. They show up for 8AM sessions about HR because they are weird — but they are driven to do better in the world. They don’t denigrate workers or HR professionals. They love HR. Truly. It’s authentic.

But the rest of us are fools. I’ll throw my dumb ass into that cohort. A haggard group of hustlers wrapped up in a mediocre micro-economy of inefficiencies and irrelevancy.

Yeah. Something like that.

And I feel married,
buried
by the conference economy.

And no, I don’t need a break from the road.

The HR conference circuit operates in the craziest bubble. A bunch of people talking, thinking, and writing about work but no one actually does real work. I know, I know. We’re all knowledge workers and strategists and futurists. But much of the language we use — on stage, in panels, on the expo floor — comes awfully close to denigrating the labor market and creating a pageant out of mediocre technology and solutions.

We are wasting time. I’ve spent years with self-aggrandizing fools who couldn’t create jobs in motherfucking job factory.

I’m not frustrated or having a breakdown. (Please. There is real pain out there.) But sometimes — in my more reflective moments — I wonder how I can use my voice and platform to make a positive impact on the world of work.

Maybe I can’t. Maybe I’m a dilettante. But I want to punch the ‘conference economy’ in the face before someone else gets hurt by this crap.

#occupywallstreet

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 03:45 AM PDT

There are a bunch of hippie kids protesting in NYC, right now. Some are there because they heard Radiohead was playing a show. (Hey, that’s a legitimate reason to show up.) A majority of those kids are protesting for legitimate reasons. The country is a mess. Work is hard to find. And those of us who work in Human Resources understand that those kids wouldn’t be there if they had decent jobs, health care, and a roof over their heads.

Unfortunately, this is a generation that businesses love to exploit and hate to employ. Global corporations will take what little money these kids have in their pockets but refuse to offer decent career paths or meaningful benefits. And these companies send their mouthpieces into the marketplace to justify the turmoil and the chaos. “This is a seminal moment in America. We’re in a time of change. We’ll move from job creation to freelance artists.”

Sure it is. We’re all going to be artists and freelancers hooked up into the cloud. And there will be winners and losers. That’s great — but I don’t want to live in a society of ‘freelancers’ and artists. That is not my America. That is an irresponsible, unproductive, disorganized society that benefits few and exploits many.

Fuck that.

I keep saying to my HR peeps, “If you’re not paying attention to #occupywallstreet, now is the time.”

And I keep reminding my fellow employment professionals that these kids can’t protest when they have a job and responsibilities. [That's the secret to resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, by the way. A rising tide can truly lift all boats.]

So HR peeps — this shit is coming your way. Minneapolis. St. Louis. Lincoln. Denver. San Diego. There’s dissent in this country and it goes both ways. For as many people who blame Obama, there are others who blame BofA.

I only wish Radiohead would play a show. It might make this mess a little more tolerable.